All Growed Up - The Birthday Blog

My birthday this year started out the same way that it always does - my brother was the first to call, followed by my mother singing multiple verses of Happy Birthday, including ones that she's made up. But this year, she decided to be a little extra. She added the bit about me not giving her a grandchild, a bit usually reserved for when I call to wish her a happy Mother's Day. I had to remind my dear mother that at my ripe age, I have one good egg left (maybe) and that sucker is armed with The Slomin's Shield.

There are some that I'd like to forget, but my earth days thus far have been memorable. In my 20's, I lived in a studio apartment in the Upper East Side and was holding down 3 jobs while still going out on auditions and rehearsing at night.  Each day was a hustle. Remember that In Living Color sketch, Hey Mon, about the Jamaican family holding down multiple jobs? Yep, that was me! (Cue Damon's J'fakin accent),  I was a Gymboree teacher, a retail sales associate, an adjunct college professor, AND the hostess with the mostess at children's birthday parties! I was not a lazy lima bean! In between all of this, I booked a show that had a pretty fabulous run downtown and later got picked up for a European tour! Whew!

When older girlfriends turned 30 and started freaking out, I didn't understand why.  After all, age is just a number, right? WRONG!! On January 1 of the year that I was to cross over into that decade, I felt what they were all feeling, ANXIETY! I was now supposed to act like a grown-up! Like Macaulay Culkin in the Home Alone movie franchise, I stared into the mirror, palmed my cheeks and screamed...LOUDLY! In a nutshell, my 30's sucked! It started out with the loss of my childhood best friend to cancer.  From the time we met to the the time we graduated high school, Elaine and I were inseparable. We both moved to different states for college but continued to spend countless hours chatting on the phone and writing letters. Yes, letters! I visited her and she visited me and her death left me devastated, especially since I didn't know that she was dying. The big "C" reared its ugly head again when my mother was diagnosed with stage one breast cancer.  She's been cancer-free for 11 years now, thank God! I learned so much about the disease and about our healthcare system (or lack thereof) during our struggle to get her healthy and whole. My sucky 30's also brought about the illness and eventual loss of my dad.  But throughout all of the grief and mounds of paperwork that comes with dealing with the death of a parent, my siblings and I grew closer together. With that bright spot, I guess it wasn't THAT sucky after all!

I was so looking forward to my 40's and greeted the year with arms wide opened.  On my birthday, I ran around shouting to all who would listen (and even those who wouldn't), "I'm 40 and fabulous!" I gathered a few sister-friends to celebrate my new-found fabulousity. It was a very special way to begin the year. I felt like I had finally grown into myself. With each year into 40 comes more growth (thankfully not of the waistline) and more learning. The (r)evolution continues but here are a few lessons I've gathered along the way:

1. Every so often, you have to clean out your "interior" closet, getting rid of things, including relationships that no longer serve you.  They take up way too much space and let's face it, prime real estate is scarce!
2. "No" is a complete sentence. Nuff said!
3. It's okay that not everyone likes you.  You're not for all markets.
4. We all mess up. When you do, forgive yourself and move on.
5. Sh*t happens.  When it does, pick through the poop, find the lesson, take a good shower (please!), and move on.  We miss so many opportunities for growth when we wallow in self pity.
6. And while I'm on the subject, DO NOT accept invitations to other people's pity parties.  The food sucks, the liquor is cheap, and the hangover is a b*tch!

There are some folks, especially women, who shy away from telling their real ages.  NOT ME! I have earned the right to claim that I'm 44 and fabulouser!  HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!

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